How patience, deep conversation, and self-work turned a crush into a marriage that heals
Never in Lungo’s wildest dreams did she imagine that her onscreen crush would one day become her husband. And never in ShabZi’s boldest hopes did he imagine marrying the very woman who would heal his heart and make a better man out of him.
Was it a love written in the stars? The couple’s first meeting at Joburg’s Randlords was purely by chance. The young Lungo Katete — now Mrs Rampedi — was coaxed out of her res room one evening by friends to attend an old-school, throwback R&B rooftop event, while ShabZi, real name Leshabe Rampedi, was out scouting for a venue to perform at.
Although the pair didn’t get a chance to speak that evening — with Lungo psyching herself up to at least say hello to her onscreen crush — ShabZi was none the wiser.
“When I saw him at the event, I was stunned because, I mean, ‘that’s my husband’,” she said with a loud laugh.
Lungo’s crush dates back to when ShabZi was part of the once-popular rap show Vuzu Hustle, a local reality TV music competition aimed at unearthing raw, untapped talent in South Africa.
“By the time I was ready to approach him, he was gone,” she recalls, spending the rest of the evening in total disappointment. But never to be outdone, the brave Lungo searched for him on Facebook, sent that first message, and set in motion what would become a beautiful love story.
“I love hearing this story a million times,” said ShabZi, with palpable love for his wife.
“When we did meet up for the first time, I was honestly taken aback by the sense that I felt like she was reflecting a version of me that I was not ready to be yet,” he reveals. That scared him, because his 20s beckoned him to live an artistic, experiential life.
It wasn’t just fear of commitment that held him back, but a deeper reckoning with himself — knowing who he imagined himself to be, yet not fully believing he deserved that life because of where he came from.
Aware of this, he intentionally slowed things down, spacing their face-to-face meetings two or three months apart, choosing distance even though he knew what his soul needed — her. They spoke often on WhatsApp, where their connection was rooted in deep, honest conversations he genuinely enjoyed.
“The day I took her out for our first date at Chicken Licken — partly because it was convenient back then, but mostly because I wanted to see her impression — became a turning point,” he shares. “We sat in our corner, ordered our meals, and had the most beautiful time, simply talking. That was the day I realised I needed to keep this lady at bay, because I enjoyed what she reflected, but I wasn’t ready to confront all those things about myself in just one interaction.”
Two years went by before the pair officially became a couple. “At some point, I really thought I wasn’t his cup of tea,” Lungo teased. But that time frame allowed for growth, healing, and clarity about what they truly wanted.
Coming from a divorced family meant carrying the scars of a broken home, while Lungo’s parents are still together to this day. That contrast unlocked parts of themselves and ultimately forged a powerful couple, choosing to do life their own way.
Asked how the relationship has impacted him, ShabZi reflects: “It was how certain she was of the person she wanted to be that confronted the person I am today — and the person I am still working to become. It’s not surface, it’s divine. Divinity is confronting, it’s transformative, and you feel it in your soul.”
He credits that certainty, and the woman who stood by him, for helping him heal and dream with confidence.
Lungo, on the other hand, crossed paths with many misfits, experiences that almost convinced her that relationships were not for her. “I even thought I’d adopt kids one day because nothing in that department was working out for me,” she said, laughing.
Thankfully, her hopeless romantic heart never gave up, and the love she longed for eventually found her.
“When he finally asked me to be his girlfriend, I was genuinely taken aback, because I was just like, ‘Wow — he actually likes me, after all these years.’”
And in the end, the wait was worth it. It was within this love that Lungo finally felt seen.
“I’m the first-born girl, born to parents who moved from Zambia to South Africa, which meant learning everything through me,” she shared. “There was a lot of pressure and many expectations. But in this relationship, ShabZi supports me, even when things don’t make sense. He allows me to feel seen and heard. If I say this is what I want to do, he makes me feel like it’s valid — like it’s doable,” she said, as they both welled up with tears.
For ShabZi, love has always felt like a gift — one that needs to be unwrapped carefully. In loving Lungo, he found himself constantly confronted with truth, growth, and self-reflection. Rather than running from it, he learned to value relationships that tell the truth, even when it is uncomfortable. “Some days it’s easy, some days it’s challenging,” he says. “But I would rather come home to this woman every day.”
Their journey towards marriage was not rushed, but deeply intentional. Long before the proposal, the two had already spoken openly about what marriage would look like, how they would live, and who they wanted to become together. So when ShabZi finally asked Lungo to be his wife, it was not a surprise born of impulse, but a moment shaped by years of conversation, healing, and choosing each other with clarity.
Together, Lungo and ShabZi hope their love adds a softer, truer reflection to the narrative of Black love — one that acknowledges pain, but does not centre it; one that chooses healing, honesty, and joy. “Love itself is easy,” Lungo says. “Life is hard.” And yet, in choosing each other every day, they are proving that love — when nurtured with patience and truth — can still be a place of safety, healing and home.
